in black ink my love
by closingdoors
Summary: A romantic but interesting evening with Castle/Beckett. "All she really wants is to curl up in a bath with him and sleep for, preferably, forever. Of course, that was never actually going to happen. Her boyfriend is ridiculous." For Aisling. COMPLETE.


O, none, unless this miracle have might,  
That in black ink my love may still shine bright.  
- Sonnet 65, Shakespeare

* * *

**Disclaimer: **If I owned Castle, I'd write a birthday episode for Aisling instead of a fic. Alas, I don't. Happy birthday, you little fuzzball of rainbow sunshine.

* * *

Her boyfriend is ridiculous.

The day has been long without him, a difficult case of the murder of a 13 year old schoolgirl that she'd have to solve without him because he had a meeting with Gina, wound up with her almost collapsing after chasing their murderer for 4 blocks when they'd tried to arrest him. The heat of the summer is stifling, and even in the evening she can feel the sweat clinging to her skin, and all she really wants is to curl up in a bath with him and sleep for, preferably, forever.

Of course, that was never actually going to happen.

Instead she arrives at his apartment, letting herself in with the key he'd given her, to find the place devoid of any light whatsoever.

She pauses as she closes the door behind her, squinting into the darkness. "Castle?"

No answer.

Her hands reach out and fumble for the light switch, clicking it once, twice. No reaction. Huh.

"Castle? You here?"

Even to her own ears, her voice sounds exhausted.

Luckily, she knows this place inside out, so she manages to hang her coat in the closet beneath the stairs and place her badge and keys in the bowl as she always does. Presses her palms flat on the table by the stairs for a moment, taking a deep breath and trying to calm herself. Blows a couple pieces of hair out of her eyes. She can do this- She can put up with this. _Just get into bed and sleep, Kate. Don't question it._

It's awkward, managing to get to their bedroom- Their? When has she started thinking his bedroom as theirs?- in the dark when she's shattered. She stumbles once or twice, stubs her toe, and catches her top on the door handle. But, she thinks, it's doesn't go as bad as it could.

When she walks, or more accurately stumbles, through his study, after leaving her gun in his safe, and into their room, she almost rolls her eyes.

He's waiting for her, smirk on his face, surrounded by lazily flickering candles and what smells like- is that lilac?- lotion in the air.

"Castle." She sighs. "You shut the lights off?"

His smirk only deepens. "Sure did."

"Castle, this is really sweet..." She trails off, biting down on her bottom lip nervously, leaning against the door frame.

"But?" His eyebrows lift, sensing her nerves.

She rubs a hand across her eyes, sighing. "I'm- I'm really tired, Castle. The case we had today... It was horrible, and I- I just wanna take a bath, and go to sleep. I..."

Suddenly, there are hands circling her wrists, and she opens her eyes to find him standing before her. Smiling openly at her. That light in his eyes that steals her breath away; when suddenly the Earth stops moving beneath her feet because surely, _surely _there is nothing human that could be so perfect as the way he looks at her, the way he loves her- Surely, after all, this is some fantasy. There must be some other-worldly explanation for it, something that she has to search the stars for, because she cannot find one on this Earth.

"I ran a bath for you already." He tells her softly. "Just now. Bubbles and everything."

Kate leans into him, pressing her forehead to his, just breathing him in for a moment. "You are ridiculously sweet." She tells him, hushed, as though it's a secret.

He doesn't even attempt to follow her into the bathroom, which she is eternally grateful for. She knows what he gets like sometimes: A flash of bare skin and then he can't keep his hands to himself. Not that she minds, her body reacts to him in ways it shouldn't after almost a year, in ways that surely should've worn off by now. But it doesn't. Yet, tonight... Tonight she just needs to rest.

She relaxes into the bath with a sigh, nose filling with the cherry bubble bath that she adores, letting the warm water embrace her and soothe her tense muscles.

"Kate?"

Her eyelids flutter open- had she fallen asleep?- to find Castle kneeling beside the bath, cheek resting on his hand as he smiles at her. In his free hand, he holds out a glass of red wine to her. Oh, now he's just being too sweet.

She accepts the glass easily, fingers brushing against his purposely, taking a sip of the wine and feeling it warm her in her chest. Or is that due to the way that he's looking at her?

"Thank you." She murmurs quietly.

He leans over and presses a kiss to the side of her head, hovers there for a moment before pulling away. "You're welcome, Kate."

"Why are you being so sweet today?" She asks him, watching him over the rim of her glass. "I mean, not that you're not usually sweet. But- The candles, the bath, and you didn't even know that I'd be tired-"

"I, uh, may have had an ulterior motive." He confesses, stroking patterns up her arm lazily. Sends heat straight to her abdomen. "But it doesn't matter. It can wait till another day."

She bites her lips, surveying him. "There's room for more than one in here, you know."

There definitely is. His bathtub is large- Luxuriously so. Together, she's fairly certain that they've spent more time in this bath than they have in bed, lazing together amongst the swirl of the water and the bubbles. Content with simply one another and needing nothing else but the promise of always.

But Castle just shakes his head. "You're tired. And we both know you can't keep your hands to yourself, detective."

She swats him for that one, laughing. "Me? _You_ have _no _self-restraint whatsoever."

"I didn't hear you complaining when-"

"Castle, if you know what's good for you, you'll shut up."

He chuckles to himself, standing upright. "I'll be in the bedroom." He says, cupping her cheek with his large palm. Makes her smile once again. "You take as long as you need."

She watches him go with love settling in her heart.

* * *

Kate emerges from the bathroom in his fluffy robe, noting the soft smile that he tries to hard to smother when he notices. He's laid out on his side of the bed (they have sides? How has she not noticed this? Why does it not freak her out?) reading what looks like scrap pieces of paper, but hurriedly shoves them back into his bedside drawer when he sees her. She swallows thickly against the panic that claws at her throat. She knows what they are. So she pretends not to notice.

"Hey." She says softly, settling beside him on the bed, watching him in the light of the rapidly running out candles.

He reaches out and tangles his hands in her damp hair, pulling her close for a slow, sweet close that makes her toes curl. "Hey. Feeling better?"

She melts into him on the bed, snuggling into his side and burying her face into his neck as their legs brush together. His arms wind around her and anchor her to him, almost suffocating in their fierce grip. Usually, she'd turn away, be content to simply spoon instead. But tonight she just- She wants him, as she always does, as she always will, but she wants him _close._

"Castle..."

"Yeah?" His voice is almost sleepy.

She swallows her nerves and goes for it. "You remember when you broke you leg? And you asked me to grab your Nikki heat notes? The ones you make in your journal sometimes when you're too sleepy to get your laptop?"

Apprehension almost swallows his smile. "Yeah. I do."

She runs a finger down his solid bare chest, only stopping when she hits the line of his pajama bottoms. Curls her fingers into a fist. Gathers courage.

But she doesn't need courage. Because then she looks up and sees the way his doting eyes watch her, the way his love shines brightly in his eyes and it should choke her, that feeling. But instead she feels as though champagne is shimmering through her veins, as though she's fizzing brightly with all this happiness and love and damn this man for making her feel this way- And she loves him for it, she does. Never has she ever felt so happy in her life. Never has anyone meant so much to her.

"I found them. The- The poems. And the ring."

Beneath her hand, she feels him stop breathing.

So she rushes on, suddenly fearful. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to find them, but they were right next to the journal and I was just- I was curious because I'd never seen them before and I didn't even _know _that you wrote poetry and then the ring was just _right there _and it was so gorgeous and I-"

He cuts her off with a fierce kiss, swallows her apologies and swaps them for murmurs of love instead.

"Castle-"

"Kate, it's okay. I- I'm just glad I didn't scare you off. I know you're not ready for anything like that-"

She presses her hand over his mouth, staring him in the eyes as she raises herself above him. "Castle. You shouldn't be afraid of scaring me off. I'm done with being afraid, Castle, and you should be too. I know we've never spoken about any of this, but we can if you want. Not everything is about me in this relationship."

His hands grip her hips as she straddles him, running her hands over his shoulders and squeezing. Heart swelling with love.

"Kate... I don't want to force you into anything. I mean, we've not even moved in together yet-"

"Wait. Is that..." She gasps, pinching his shoulders. "Richard Castle, were you planning on _seducing _me into moving in with you tonight?"

He winces. "When you put it like that, it sounds so-"

"Creepy?"

"I was going with dirty, but they're more or less the same, right?"

Kate scowls at him, but simply feels the laughter rumble through his chest, sending shivers down her body. She can sense the moment he feels her reaction to him, because he squeezes her hips just a minimal amount tighter, as though he's clinging to her. As though she'd ever let go.

"You know I love you, don't you?" She whispers.

His eyes widen a fraction, but aside from that, he lies completely still beneath her. As though he's afraid of pushing her, once again. Oh, what has she done to this man? What has she done to him to ever make him feel as though he has no right to say how he feels?

"I know." He says breathlessly, one hand reaching up to cup her cheek.

"If you wanted me to move in with you, all you had to do was ask. I told you: Girls like it simple. Sometimes."

"I was trying to be romantic."

"Need I remind you of Valentine's day?"

He cringes slightly, hand dropping from her cheek and onto her bare thigh. "Okay. Point taken." But then his eyes grow wider, morphing his features. "Wait, was that you accepting my offer?"

"And if it was?"

"_Kate." _

She giggles. "Yeah, Castle." She murmurs softly. "I'll move in with you."

He surges upright immediately, capturing her lips with his so suddenly he makes her squeak in surprise. He swallows the squeak and dizzies her with his tongue, his hands, as they push his robe away from her shoulders and seek her bare skin."

But she pulls away, needing to get something off her chest. "Castle, how long have you had that ring?"

Castle tries to look away but she cups his face in her hands softly, almost as though he were made of china, almost as though she's cradling his heart in her palms.

"Since- Since you were shot. I know you were with Josh then, and I know things were messy, and I knew even then that maybe we would never happen... But I loved you so much and I missed you more than I can ever explain and I needed something to just... Something to give me hope. I needed hope, Kate. That's why I wrote the poetry too. I didn't know what else to do, I guess."

"I'm sorry." She whispers, tracing his lips with her forefinger, heart almost shattering in her chest at his words. Tears prick her eyes and she doesn't wipe them away. Why should she hide how she feels from him? No more secrets.

Never again.

"It's not your fault. We've moved past that. Right?" Castle says, catching her stray tears with his thumbs. "I mean... A year ago, and you wouldn't even tell me that you remembered me telling you I love you. And now? Now you're here, in my arms, and you've just agreed to move in with me and you've even handled the news of the ring so well. This is more than I could ever hope for, Kate. More than I let myself dream."

He is too good for her.

But she presses her forehead to his again, hands sliding down to rest on his shoulders. "Someday, Castle. With- With the ring. Someday."

His eyes brighten more than she's ever seen, a grin almost splitting him in two. "Yeah?"

She bites her lip. "Richard Alexander Rodgers." She watches the way his eyes widen. "I will never, ever want anyone but you ever again in my life. Ever. Okay?"

His hands tremble but he pulls her closer. "Okay."

* * *

Later, as he sleeps beside her quietly, she slips from the bed and reaches into his drawer. Studies her favourite poem that he'd written her.

_My love she shines brighter  
than the moon and the stars at night;  
more so than the words I write.  
Like sunlight on a cold winters day_  
_blazing gold in the grey;_  
_please God, let her stay.  
_

With the ring in its velvet box in her other hand, she grabs a pen and slowly traces out one word beneath:

_Always._

And then she crawls back into his arms, breathing him in, because it's true; she never will want anyone else but him.

For as long as they both shall live.


End file.
